The chameleon, to me, is one of the most fascinating creatures in existence. And while my lady followers do not think there can be anything fascinating about a scaly reptilian creature with weird eyes that could see all the way to its back or look in opposite directions (yikes), even they can’t help but be amazed, or at least intrigued, by the chameleon’s ability to change color, and or texture.
But hold on, ladies, before you leave, this blog post isn’t about Chameleons; it’s about CHANGE. I spent the better part of Sunday evening trying to figure out reasons why we change, and here’s what I found out; most people change because of another person.
So is there really anything wrong with wanting to change for another person? Well that would depend on a few things. You see, I’m up for change, but only if you are changing into the person that you really want to be. Spruce up your wardrobe, get a new hairdo after all these years, grow some muscles, grow a moustache, change your accent if you want to. There’s nothing wrong with Change as long as, at the end of the day, you are becoming the person you dream of being.
Where the problem is, is in changing because we want another person’s approval. Am I saying you won’t get the person’s approval even after you change because, as Economists put it, “Human wants are insatiable”? No…though that could happen, but that’s a blog post for another day. What I am saying is, changing the way you speak, eat, live, and, most popularly, talk misleads not only the person you wanna impress, but everyone that comes in contact with you. Not only would your friends (colleagues and acquaintances inclusive) think you’re faking coz they already know the real you, it greatly misleads the people that meet you for the first time. You will attract people who are attracted to the person you are becoming (or have already become if it’s too late), and when you get tired of faking (coz faking is as exhausting as driving from one end of the country to the other with manual transmission), the real you will come out, and the approval will fade away…and so will the friends you thought you made. Meanwhile, the friends that loved the original you are now in your past.
To change, or not to change? That is the question.
Change if and only if you are changing into the you of your dreams, or a better you. But stay the same if you are only looking for approval. The best approval is self approval, and if you approve of yourself, pretty soon someone who approves of you will come along.